If you are living, you will  experience relational conflicts: There is no way to get around it.  It begins as a baby who wants it's way but cannot have it. The baby has a conflict which at infancy deems crying. As we grow older, conflicts should be handled better than having childest tantrums.  Everyone, even Christians, have times of disagreements. So, we might as well learn how to deal with them.

The definition of conflict is a mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes or external or internal demands.  It is natural and easy to speak your mind in anger and forget about how anyone else is affected. But, it takes the Spirit of God and His Word to handle conflict effectively.  Romans 12:18-19 and 21 says, "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, vengeance is mine: I will repay, saith the Lord... Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."

When conflict occurs, as Christians, we must handle it in a godly way so that we can experience an abundant life of love lived out (not that of vengeful, hatefulness).  On a godly-practical level, let's look at "Five R's" of resolving a conflict. They can be applied to any relationship, whether in marriage, friendship, at the workplace or wherever. If we are teachable and want to grow in effective communication, the following "Five R's" can help.

Repeat to each other what the quarrel is "really" about.  Write it out if necessary, redefining it until both of you agree.  This in itself will resolve a good many arguments.  There are many times something deeper is going on. Prayerfully, it will be revealed during this time. If it is serious or tragic, you may need profesional therapy.

Release it to God in prayer (separately and together). It is difficult to stay angry when you are taking it to the Lord. Pray blessings for the other person. 

Reason it through together.  After identifying the problem, discuss possible solutions. It may even mean stating what each of you would like to have happen. A compromise may even be best. Sometimes, we can agree to disagree.

Resolve and leave it.  When it's over, move beyond it.  Do not stay angry or allow bitterness to set in. Admit your mistakes, learn from criticism and start fresh. I heard someone say, "it's better to live in peace than to be right." Let go of the need to be right.

Rebuild the relationship after conflict. If your partner, friend or loved one is unwilling to work toward a solution and build a better relationship, remain prayerful.  All things are possible with God! Ask God for His wisdom and timing (i.e. when or if to bring it up again, what the next step is, what you alone can do to improve the situation, etc.)

 Continue building the relationship in other areas as God leads. Above all, ask for wisdom in knowing when to speak what and when to be still; ask for discernment to know if the issue should be forced into the open or put behind you unresolved. Trust God in all of your relationships.

If both parties are willing to work at conflict resolution, you are ready to learn how to turn every argument into an effective discussion. That's hard! Especially, in the heat of the moment. Discipline and self-control is so important in our relationships. How we say what we say, matters. Learning to communicate effectively is definitely requires spiritual and emotional growth.  To do it with kindness and love, that's the grace of God!

Ephesians 4:26-32 speaks to anger.  We can be angry, but should not sin or stay angry. We should not even allow the devil to coerce us.  What ever needs correcting, if we can, we should correct it.  Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, malice and evil speaking be put away from you. Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God has forgiven you.  We really need to watch how we speak to one another (especially to those closest to us).

Don't sow discord. Ask God for help to effectively deal with conflict. We all will be the better for it!